It’s amazing how you can fill your time when you have all the time in the world. I live with Sarah Sponcil and I’m dating Mark Schuermann — we have a wonderfully diverse AVP-affiliated Quaranteam. When the three of us were essentially trapped in this three-bedroom apartment riding out COVID-19, we realized how varied our activities and conversations became. We did some unusual things—some we’d been meaning to do for a while, others we do every day, some we were proud of, others we weren’t. Like the time I actually got mad at Mark for getting three seven-letter words in one game of Scrabble (but seriously, who does that?). There were some sad tears, happy tears, and laughing tears. We’ve all gone through dark periods; we’ve all helped each other out of them.
And we realized our experience isn’t wholly unique. Everyone is being odd and doing silly things; most of us are sorting through similar emotions and messy closets; we’re all finding both productive and mindless ways to pass the time. We’re on our own, but together.
There were more than a few things that happened that Sarah, Mark, and I found comically absurd. So we started writing them down. I hope you enjoy and/or find camaraderie in our Quarantopics. Though Sarah has since fled our Quaranteam to ride out the Safer at Home order at her parents’ house, below are some things we talked about or did during our self-imposed quarantine starting on Saturday, March 14 (in no particular order).
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Mocked the panickers stocking up their fridges. Promptly became them.
Debated the difference between a couple of, a few, and several:
- A couple of = 2
- A few = this is still up for debate
- Several = 4 or more
Played Plunder: A Pirate’s Life while watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Played again while watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.
Bought five bottles of wine for Kerri Schuh’s bachelorette party. Put her on a plane home to Wisconsin as soon as she arrived in Long Beach. Sat on hold with Airbnb for several hours, finally canceling our bachelorette weekend rental. Made a large dent on the five bottles of wine. Update: finished the five bottles of wine.
Introduced Sarah to her first James Bond movie. Then watched the rest of the Daniel Craig Bond movies.
Pet all the dogs on our walks because they can’t get Coronavirus. Maintained 6ft. from their owners. Update: stopped doing this to respect stricter social distancing protocol.
Waited for the FIVB and AVP schedules to get changed. Mourned the loss of tournaments. Hoped for the best for the rest of both tours. Still hoping.
Sarah packed for Australia. She unpacked two hours later.
Brainstormed money-making ideas:
- Poshmark old clothes
- PR reps
- YouTube videos on best quarantine practices
- YouTube videos explaining board games
- Instagram influencer
- Abscond to Vegas and put it all on black (with the casinos closing, that was quickly squashed)
Walked through the Starbucks drive through line. Got scolded by the baristas and told we had to be in a car the next time.
Discussed at length the new screen savers on Apple TV.
Watched Tangled once we found out the name of the town she’s being kept from is named Corona.
Led a Facebook Live 52-Card Workout for the AVP.
Mark and I began a Best 17 out of 33 in Scrabble (we have a long way to go. I’m up 5-4).
Joked about and then seriously considered going to our parent’s homes for the quarantine. Update: Sarah is at her parents’ house.
Mark wrote a plot for a Hallmark movie called Christmas Quarantine:
Holly, a single baker, worries her “non-essential” business will go under when she and the rest of the big city are met with a 14-day Safer at Home order on December 10th. Forced inside her giant, modern, and beautifully decorated 3-bedroom apartment, Holly starts a YouTube channel called “The Cookie Pan-demic: Baking For One.” Her only real human interaction is FaceTime happy hours with her sassy girlfriends.
A week into the quarantine, feeling lonely and suddenly nostalgic, Holly starts streaming local news broadcasts from her quaint hometown of Pineville. She begins to fall in love with the local news anchor (and her childhood neighbor) Jake, who continues to assure everybody that Santa is virus-free and has been cleared by the World Health Organization to make his deliveries on Christmas.
On December 24th, the Safer at Home order is lifted. Holly hops on the first non-stop flight to Pineville, checking three suitcases full of Christmas cookies. Holly’s parents pick her up from the airport and they head straight to their neighbor’s house for Christmas Eve dinner. A nervous Holly can’t bring herself to tell Jake that she’s been watching him for the last week, until Jake admits that he’s been learning how to bake from her YouTube channel.
After a night of singing Christmas carols around the piano, drinking hot cocoa, and feasting on an endless supply of non-perishable goods, Holly has rediscovered the charm of Pineville. She decides the YouTube channel is enough; she’s going to sell her successful bakery in the big city and stay home. Jake and Holly find themselves alone on the balcony. As snow falls delicately around them, Jake says, “I guess we’ll be baking for two.” He and Holly share an elbow bump.
The end.
Shot a movie poster for Christmas Quarantine.
Special thanks to Kelly Wallis
Scrolled through Instagram too often (screen time was up 115% from last week according to my judgy Apple update).
Asked some friends if they knew of any empty mansions that needed housesitting.
Discussed which industries we should long or short on the stock market:
- Long – grocery stores, streaming services, Purell
- Short – airlines, day spas, Airbnb
Panic-called Mark’s roommates (Jake Rosener and Brandon Joyner) who were in Kauai for the Dinosaur tournament telling them to come home immediately because the government was definitely shutting down state borders. Realized we received some false information.
Played 20+ games of Liar’s Dice. Update 30+. Update 40+.
Watched the debate and celebrated the civility due to the lack of audience.
Defrosted and deep-cleaned the fridge, cleaned the garage, the spice cabinet, and the cabinet underneath the sink, and Marie Kondo-ed my closet.
Bought a new fridge because the old one didn’t defrost and we desperately need our fridge to store panic-bought items.
Installed the new fridge.
Did an Instagram takeover to get free takeout.
Finished the book Little Fires Everywhere. Finished the five available episodes of the Hulu show Little Fires Everywhere.
Started many more books (Daring Greatly by Brene Brown; The Power by Naomi Alderman; Winners Take All by Anand Giridharadas; Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis). Still working on all of them. Update: finished The Power.
Hosted virtual game nights playing Bezzerwizzer, Liar’s Dice (obviously), Codenames, and Poker (good luck with that).
FaceTimed with all fourteen members of Kim’s family.
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